Who are you helping…really?

“I just love helping people.”

Ever heard someone say that?

I’m sure you have. Or, maybe it’s something you say as I do. It’s actually my passion. But as I’ve met hundreds and hundreds of people over the years, I have had a bit of an epiphany related to that wonderful little sentence. I think that phrase is all too often a cover up for one’s true motivation- to help oneself.

What do I mean? Let me explain by first quoting D.L. Moody when he said, “Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at something that doesn’t matter.” If you had to take a simple guess at how many people are doing something that truly matters, or better explained as doing something that is truly their passion and purpose, how many would it be? Let’s just say it’s 50% of the population are actually living out their highest potential, passion, purpose, priority, and any other “P” word you can think of. That would leave 50% that aren’t.

So how do these other 50% justify living how they live, when deep down they know they aren’t doing something that matters? They say things like, “I love helping people by…” You can fill in the blank. I was a teacher many years ago. And I felt as though I was truly helping my students and parents, but it wasn’t my highest calling (for many teachers it absolutely IS their highest calling. I’m merely using this as an example in my life). God had more for me (still does). Had I settled for that position, deep down I would know I wasn’t doing what God built me to do, and very likely my justification for not getting out of my comfort zone would be, “I just love helping people. I love making a difference in my student’s lives, etc.” The harsh reality, though, would have been I was actually trying to help myself by easing the pain of guilt I had deep on the inside. Tough? Yes. But I want to help set people free to do what they were created to do. 

Is there anything wrong with being a teacher? Of course not, unless it’s not what I was created for. Is there anything wrong with being a doctor, nurse, police officer, parent, business owner, preacher, stay at home parent, blue collar worker, cashier, office manager, realtor, manager, ditch digger, retiree, trashman, attorney, graphic artist, accountant, financial advisor, networker…

NO!

Unless you were meant for something else.

And in my example, 50% of the population is meant for something else. And your true job is to figure out what it is.

I guess that’s what we do in the Life business. We help set people free by helping them discover and develop their gifts, talents, passions, and ultimately their purpose. And when you are doing what you were meant to do, it hurts to see others settling for less than they were meant for. Thus my reason for writing this.

Maybe it’s you.

Yes, you, reading this.

Maybe you are meant for more. Most likely you are. I’d like to help you discover what that is. Reach out.

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The Illusion of Busyness

As I was driving to the store today, I found myself taking a “short cut” thinking it would save me some time. But as I made many left and right turns, I figured it probably would have been the same amount of time had I drove the main route to the store.

This reminded me of a recent conversation I overheard between two men at a hardware store. They were discussing how they handle backed up traffic. Both of them agreed that they would rather try an alternate route and take longer to get to their destination than wait patiently in line with the slow moving traffic. The reasoning was, at the very least, they “felt” like they were making progress. The memory of this conversation reminded me of a friend’s Facebook post and my response to it.

A friend of mine posted on her account, “This one hit me hard today. ‘Busyness is an illness of the soul.’ -Eugene Peterson. What are your thoughts?”

This of course set off a pretty good assortment of comments including mine:

“There are no rewards in heaven for being “busy.” We are rewarded for being productive (bearing fruit)…People often use the phrase “I’m super busy” or something like that as if it’s some kind of badge of honor. I’m not impressed with busy people. I’m impressed with productive people; people who are making an eternal impact in the lives of people.”

I don’t know about you, but I’m not interested in being busy. I’d like to be effective, productive, useful, fulfilled, fruitful and consistently working towards my God-given purpose. Does that mean I may find myself “busy”? Likely, but that is where the danger lies.

Busyness can all too often be confused with being productive. But don’t be misled. Productivity and being busy are not synonymous. Like a football player that runs the ball, he may run 25 yards during a play but only gain two. How? Because he was so “busy” running right and left trying to avoid tacklers he got his eyes of the goal of making forward progress.

So how do we know the difference? The answer is surprisingly simple. Have a scoreboard. How do I know the efforts of the football player weren’t productive? Because the scoreboard showed his progress. What about you? How do you know your life is productive? Have a scoreboard that measures your goals. If, like the “busy” person, you don’t have a means to measure your efforts, then you can easily become disillusioned about your productivity.

Once you have a scoreboard in place that measures your productivity and effectiveness, you can start asking the right questions about your efforts. Did they, or did they not, lead to the results you want? If not, what should I change to get the results I want? Back to our football player. If all my zigging and zagging didn’t produce much, maybe it would be better to simply run straight ahead and break a tackle or two and get 5 yards running a total of 5 yards rather than expending all that unnecessary energy for less results.

Effort alone is not a measure of success. Don’t fall for the illusion of productivity- busyness. Plenty of busy, hard working, good people are accomplishing very little. Always remember, the goal is never to be “busy.” The goal is to be productive. And you must be able to measure that through some sort of scoreboard to understand how you are doing. So, what are you trying to achieve and how can you measure it? When you have it figured out, you’ll be on your way to being productive not merely busy.

Be the light?

 

I was perusing my LinkedIn page when I came across the picture above. I “liked” it as I usually do when I see something I, well, like. But before the words went through my eyes, brain, and out my ears to be forgotten until another time, I started wondering what people would think it means to “be the light.”

I imagine that some people would think it means to smile, or do something kind, or say something encouraging. But if I compare that to “being the light,” those types of acts would be more like a spark or a flash or perhaps at best a flicker of light.

So what does it mean to “be the light.” I believe it means to be a constant source of joy, kindness, and encouragement. It means being a person who consistently demonstrates qualities that brighten a person’s countenance and illuminate their surroundings. It also could mean that their behavior reveals and does not hide “things.” After all, when the lights go on, all is revealed. I’ll leave it up to you what you believe is being revealed.

Jesus said, “I am the light of the world.” And what did He do? Well, a lot! He healed and taught people truth. He demonstrated compassion and kindness, as well as, justice and righteousness. He was honest and forthright. He was also accepting and did not condemn. And he trained others to be and do the same. Ultimately, He willingly laid His life down for mankind.

He’s a pretty good example of what it means to “be the light.”

In other words, being the light is a lifestyle. It’s not something that is off and on. It is.

So now that we have talked about what it means to “be” the light, the question to ask now is how?

When you consider how a light shines, one must realize it requires a power source. And that is how we “be the light.” (I’m having too much fun with quotations.) You must plug into the power source to truly be the light. And the only source of power to truly be the light is found in the One who actually claimed to be the light. So I recommend you try reading the book of John in the Bible to learn more about the Man who said, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”

So when you hear someone say, “Be the light,” realize it’s more than an occasional good deed. It’s who we are from the inside out based on Who we are plugged into.

You Are Awesome

What makes a person awesome? Is it their intelligence? Their looks? How about their stature or charisma? Maybe a person is awesome because they smile? Or could it be because they have a magnetic personality? Is a person awesome because they do awesome things? Or perhaps it’s because they are self-less, care about others, or serve the greater good. Does being a loving, caring, and compassionate person make you awesome?

Nope.

Our actions, intentions, looks, achievements, physical frames, charisma, personalities, or demeanor do not make us awesome.

So what, you may ask me, makes us awesome.

Well, in this day and age, nearly everyone has a smart phone. And we all know smart phones can do amazing things. Before we even open up the box and plug it in to charge it we have great expectation of what our new phone is going to do for us. But, have you ever met someone who owns a smart phone but only uses it to make phone calls? Have you ever said to someone, “You might as well go back to a flip phone since you don’t do anything else with your smart phone.” Now obviously, a smart phone can do a lot. It can makes calls, get on the internet, have apps of every kind imaginable downloaded on it, compute, create, talk, record, make payments, and even track our location. Simply stated, it can do a lot! It’s pretty awesome.

But if a person does not tap into all of its capabilities, that doesn’t diminish the ability and potential of that phone.

I once purchased a new iPhone and ordered a new case for it online. I should have went to the store, because I dropped it and shattered the screen. In fact, I’m known in my family as being very tough on phones. And sadly, when I drop them, kick them, get them wet, or leave it on the trunk of the car for my wife to take it for a drive only to leave it stranded in the middle of an intersection to be run over multiple times, I can diminish the capability of that phone. Stated simply, it can get “glitchy.” Thank God for insurance. Ironically though, sometimes I’ve used it and sometimes I haven’t. When I cracked the screen I made myself live with my cracked screen as some sort of punishment for being foolish enough to drop it. I also chose not to use it at times because it still cost a couple hundred bucks and I just didn’t want to spend more money.

People are are the same.

Well, actually they are way more awesome. Every human being was created with what I believe is unlimited potential. They have incredible talents, gifts, and abilities that separate them from every other human being and created thing. To the point, they are absolutely awesome. Created in the image of God and capable of absolutely anything (all things are possible to them that believe).

But there’s a problem. Every human being has been dropped, kicked, broken, and run over. But we too have an insurance policy so to speak. You see, our Creator wants to see us fulfill our potential. He knows how we tick; after all, He created us. So He also knows exactly how to fix us. And it can only be done as the manufacturer has indicated in His manual. For a phone, it must be fixed by an authorized dealer.

It’s the same with us.

We can only be fixed by the one and only Authorized Dealer…Jesus Christ. God sent Him to this earth as a legal representative of mankind to live as an example of the awesome things capable of a human being in living out their highest potential. But He also paid the price for our brokenness. The difference is that He paid for the deductible, cost of repairs, shipping- the whole kit and caboodle. All we need to do is acknowledge our need to be fixed.

Sadly, just as my cracked and broken phones, they could still do awesome and amazing things, but couldn’t be maximized to their original and fullest potential.

Once we ship ourselves off to the Authorized Dealer and Manufacturer and submit to the fullness of how He created us, we enter into a whole new and higher level of awesomeness. Truly, when we become “in Christ” all limits have been removed except those which we place upon ourselves by our own limited thinking. When we make Jesus the Lord of our lives and follow His example, word, and voice (the Holy Spirit), we can go anywhere, do anything, and demonstrate just how awesome we are because of how awesome He made us to be. To God be the glory!

Please understand this though. If we don’t admit we need to be repaired and restored to our highest potential, we can still do some incredibly awesome things- here on earth. But if we want to truly maximize our God-given abilities and talents for all eternity, we must receive the paid-for gift of Christ’s redemption. It is only in Him that we can absolutely, fully, and eternally be awesome.

And this journey; this journey of awesome, faith-based living is amazing. There’s nothing like getting our thoughts in proper alignment with who we truly are, children of God, created in Christ Jesus to do awesome works.

Then, when we see people who are loving, compassionate, and doing amazing things with their lives, we can know they are awesome, simply because God made them to be so.

So remember this, you are awesome! God made you that way.

Your Authentic Swing

I can only imagine what my wife must think about living with me. I’m really not much for shallow conversations, unless they have a purpose that will lead to something deeper. And I rarely can watch a movie without drawing from it truths that will challenge me in my own life (and if it does not have such qualities, I’m likely not going to watch it). This is the case yet again.

I am fortunate to be involved with an incredible organization that encourages everyone to truly live a life that matters, to live a life of purpose. One of the greatest qualities I feel I have gained is the ability to think about this concept in all that I do. Am I currently doing something that makes a difference? What is the purpose of what I am doing this moment? Am I investing my time or wasting it? Best selling author and ranked leadership professional Chris Brady wrote an incredible book titled PAiLS. The book’s tagline is “20 Years from Now, What Will You Wish You Had Done Today?” This question along with so many other leaders in my life have caused me to think more deeply about these ideas, especially over the past five plus years.

My wife and I recently rewatched the great movie The Legend of Bagger Vance. One of the many great principles the character Bagger Vance fosters is the idea of each of us having an “authentic swing.” It is described within the game of golf, but it’s bigger implication is that we have an “authentic swing” in the game of life. Chris Brady makes reference to this movie in PAiLS, so I’m not surprised I had this on my mind once it was over. After I turned the television off, I looked at my wife and asked her, “Who are you? What is your authentic swing? What is your contribution to this life?”

And that is the question I wish to ask you. What is your authentic swing? Why are you on this planet? For what purpose did God choose to bring you forth? I’m not asking you to answer this right now, for I believe this is a question we must ask ourselves for our entire lives. But have you given it any thought? If not, begin. If you have, then stay tuned for my next blog on Purpose.

In the meantime, enjoy this clip from the movie, The Legend of Bagger Vance.

Life’s not fair

“It’s not fair!” We have all heard this saying. We’ve all probably said it at some point in our life. It’s a common phrase we hear children exclaim, and it generally happens when things don’t go their way. And as far as I can recall, most every parent’s response to that statement is along the lines of, “Get over it. Life isn’t fair.”

And guess what? It’s still not fair. It never will be fair, and we should not expect it to be fair.

So let’s make sure we are not teaching our children contrary to what we tell them.

In July, we moved back to Rifle, CO. Hannah and Joshua have always played soccer, and for the most part, I’ve always been their coach. This go around my plan was to coach Hannah for the next three years and play parent only for Joshua. Unfortunately, when I signed them both up, they only had two kids enrolled on each of their teams, and neither team had a coach.  Not fair.

But rather than be a whiner, I wanted to be a problem solver. I offered to coach both teams and also help recruit some players and hopefully a coach to replace me.

Hannah’s team came together pretty well, but Joshua’s team has been a different story. Due to a lack of help in the beginning, and my schedule, I had to hold a few practices at the same time as my daughters. My son’s team is a U10 team and Hannah’s is a U15 team. Basically it’s 2nd-4th grade boys and 6th-8th grade girls. Well, a few of the boy’s parents didn’t like this arrangement. Apparently it didn’t seem fair.

Fortunately, another parent, Tracy, stepped up and has been doing an awesome job. She still wanted me to help out, especially during games, so I’ve been very much involved. But there was still a problem of a lack of numbers, and one other we yet knew about.

Our first game we were short two players for a full team on the field (our league plays 7 v 7). Well that’s not fair. And it was at this time that we discovered our team was placed within the upper division of the two divisions within this league. How did we discover this? We played against one of the best U10 boys teams I’ve ever seen around the Western Slope of Colorado. It was completely unfair.

Even after the visiting team allowed us to play one of their player’s older brother (a U11 player) on our team (and yeah I know, it’s not within the rules), we still lost somewhere around fifteen or twenty to zero. We had only one shot on goal. It was ugly. It was completely unfair.

So what would you do? What would you have done as a parent? What would you have done as a player, a coach? 

One of the players who was brand new, didn’t return to a practice after that. Then a second player quit coming to practice. And he was the best player on the team…and a really good player as well.

So what would you do?

I can tell you what I did.

I immediately started thinking of how to get better. How do we learn from this?
How do we help these young boys understand that the only thing that ultimately matters is improving

themselves. Because the reality is, if they are getting better, then we are doing our job as coaches. And the bigger reality is, stop comparing yourself to others and just work on being a better version of yourself. It’s not what happens to you that matters. It’s how your respond to what happens to you that matters.

The coach and I collaborated and continued recruiting to pick up new players, and having organized, solid practices.  We picked up a couple more boys, which was great. My son was coming home from practice excited and happy.

Then came our second game. It was more competitive, but we still lost 7-2. Had we had the other two boys with us, I think we would have had a more evenly matched “fair” game.

But again, all that matters is if we are improving as soccer players. How do we handle adversity? How do we demonstrate to these boys that the BEST response is not to quit, but to work harder, keep a positive attitude, and not back down from the challenge. 

I managed to convince the second player that quit to come back and play, but that only lasted one or two practices. Then he quit again. But the new player that we never heard from showed up for the week of practice before our third game. 

The third game arrived. And wow, it was another strong team. I think we had two or three shots on goal and lost somewhere around 11-0. Yeah, it could be construed yet again as being unfair, but every one of the kids showed heart and courage. Our team of mostly second and third graders with three new players didn’t quit. I was proud of their effort. I’m also proud of the parents that have kept the right attitude.

So that is where we stand right now. We still have four more games to go. I’m curious to see how this ends. I don’t necessarily believe we will turn this all around and start being some kind of dynamic, highly skilled soccer team by the end of this season. But if we (coaches, parents, and players) all remember that we need to keep positive, work hard, and continue to improve, I’m willing to bet that these boys will be far better off in the long run in life than those that quit or would have quit.

Life is not fair. Stuff happens. People get sick. People have tragic things happen to them. People lose loved ones, suffer abuse, and so much more. Some of these boys might encounter these tough and unfair situations. But if this season can help them understand that it’s not what happens to us that matters, but how we respond to what happens to us, then we as coaches and parents have done our job well.

I hope this will inspire parents, coaches, and players to never quit, especially if something is “not fair.”  Let’s develop the strength of character, integrity, and resolve to be overcomers. To be the type of people that look at adversity straight on and smile.

Just remember,

It’s not what happens to us that matters. It’s how we respond to what happens to us that matters. 

Respond well, and it will make for a far more successful and happy life. 

Operation Underground Railroad

Two months ago, if someone had come up to me and asked me to give money to some organization that helps fight against the child sex slave industry, I would likely have at most gave $10. Not because I didn’t care necessarily, but more because deep down I just didn’t even know what that meant. I was ignorant.

Then I heard Tim Ballard speak at a leadership convention, and I am now working at setting personal records of how many push-ups I can do in order to raise money for Operation Underground Railroad.

It’s sad to think how ignorant I was of such a horrific industry. And that is what it is, an industry. Children are basically rented for sex because their “owners” can make big bucks. It’s sickening. But even if someone had told me that, it still wouldn’t have penetrated my heard deep enough to have as much of an impact.

Thankfully, Tim’s talk changed me. My eyes were opened to Operation Underground Railroad, an organization that is removing the blinders from people’s eyes and removing children from these terrible situations.

So why push-ups, you may ask.

In partnership with All Grace Outreach and LIFE, I am participating in a push-up contest to raise money and awareness for Operation Underground Railroad (see details below) to help bring an end to human trafficking and the sex slave trade. That may sound outlandish, but if your response is similar to mine when I watched the videos below, you too will want to become involved. I was in tears, literally, with the horrific atrocities committed against human beings, especially children.

CBS News report of O.U.R.

Operation Underground Railroad Homepage

My personal goal is to do 100 push-ups and to raise $10,000.

If you’d like to help with the fight against the sex slave trade, you can give to the website below, in person by cash or check made out to All Grace Outreach with “OUR Life on Life” in the memo line, or through mail with a check or money order made out to AGO (All Grace Outreach, 200 Commonwealth Ct. Cary NC 27511)

If you’d like to give based on my efforts (per push-up) we can set that up to. Please get a hold of me at bryan@lifeleadershipinfo.com. 

Lastly​, if you do give a lump sum, please let me know as I will need to record your giving to show it as part of my pledges towards my goal of raising $10,000.

GIVE ONLINE HERE!

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE, for helping end human trafficking and the children sex slave trade​!!